Babysitter Jaken
by Ouroboros General
Summary: Sesshomeru goes on vacation and leaves Jaken to babysit Rin alone. What chaos will ensue? Chapter 2 is up and its no longer a oneshot. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

This may be my funniest fic yet! Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha because if I did This would have happened in an Episode.

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Baby sitter Jaken 

It all started one day in a mountainous area. Sesshomeru was walking very slowly like he always does, Rin was riding on Ah-Un and Jaken was behind keeping pace. When suddenly Sesshomeru turned around very fast scaring the crap out of Jaken and Rin.

Jaken: Crap don't do that what is your problem!

Jaken said in his annoyingly high voice. Sesshomeru ignored Jaken's yelling and Rin's crying with his emotionless face and said in his emotionless voice.

Sesshomeru: I am going on vacation over at inuyasha's wench's world.

Jaken: Uh mind running me by that again?

Sesshomeru: You see retard...

Jaken: How many times do I have to tell you MY NAME IS NOT RETARD!

Sesshomeru: Whatever you say Retard. Anyway apparently the boneeaters well has opened up for everyone now for unexplained reasons possibly because the author is high on pepsi again. And Inuyasha and his friends are all going on a vacation to someplace called Las Vegas.

Jaken: And what does this have to do with us?

Sesshomeru: Well Retard they invited all the main characters of the show except for Naraku. And I can't take Rin because she would get bored there so you will have to babysit her. Oh and Im taking Ah-Un.

Jaken: Oh no.

Sesshomeru: Goodbye Jaken Goodbye Rin and Jaken if anything happens to Rin I will tear out your spine and feed it to Ah-Un.

And so Sesshomeru flew off to have unbelievable fun in Las Vegas. Leaving Jaken with Rin.

Jaken: Lucky SOB. Ok Rin what do you want to do?

Rin: I want to go to the zoo!

Jaken: There isn't a zoo in this time Rin. what else?

Rin: I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO!

Jaken: THERE IS NO ZOO!

Rin then started crying and pounding her fists on the floor.

Rin: ZOO! ZOO! ZOO!

Jaken: Just two days Jaken just two days. Uh wait would you like candy?

Rin: YAY! Candy!

Jaken then pulled out a Hershey bar from his tunic or whatever it is and gave it to Rin.

Jaken: There you go you, you spoiled little monster.

Rin then devoured the Hershey bar in one bite.

Rin: MORE!

Jaken: Uh that was all I had.

Rin: more MORE!

Rin said like a zombie.

Jaken: starts to sweat (Don't show fear Jaken they can smell it.) Uh want a piggyback ride?

Rin: Yay!

Rin then jumped on Jakens back throwing it out.

Jaken: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Rin: OOPS.

Jaken: Damn right oops! you demented spoiled rotten little brat!

Rin then started to cry out of sadness and Jaken started to feel guilty.

Jaken: Oh Im sorry I didnt mean it just don't jump so hard next time kay?

Rin then smiled wickedly while Jaken wasnt looking.

Rin: Im sorry too Jaken.

Jaken: I guess youre not so bad after all you want me to get some more ca... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!

While Jaken wasnt looking Rin had slipped some Enchanted beads that she had gotten from Kagome on Jaken. And in her hand she held a frying pan.

Rin: Jaken... SIT!

Jaken: OWWW!

Rin then gave out millions of SIT commands while simultaneously hitting him on the head with the frying pan. She did this for about two hours until finally she stopped and Jaken was allowed to become unconscious.

Two days later Sesshomeru returned carrying souvenirs and big piles of money with him.

Sesshomeru: Retard! Rin! Im home. What the?

What Sesshomeru found was Rin dancing around a giant flaming stake to which Jaken was tied to.

Sesshomeru: Uh Rin? What are you doing?

Sesshomeru actually looked surprised which is saying a lot.

Rin: Lord Sesshomeru! Your home!

Rin went to hug Sesshomeru and just as Jaken was about to say something.

Rin: Me and Jaken were just playing a game called uh... Human sacrifice! (Glares at Jaken) Isnt that right Jaken?

Jaken: Yeah thats it a game right.

Sesshomeru: Oh. Continue.

Sesshomeru then walked away secretly smiling which was remarkably similar to how was smiling.

Sesshomeru: (Rin learns fast. Especially considering this was her first practice session in the fine art of torture.)

THE END

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So did you like? Dislike? Please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

This got a lot of reviews so I decided to update enjoy

Jaken Babysits

Act 2

Flaming Bubblegum of Doom

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It all started about 2 months after the Las Vegas incident.Sesshomaru and co were walking slowly like usual when they passed a hobo who was staring intently at a small piece of bubblegum on the ground. Sesshomaru stopped and stared at the man and after 5 minutes he asked hesitantly "You there, Human who smells of ham, eggs, and Baking Soda! Why are you so intent on annoying me by staring at that worthless piece of bubble gum? WHY!" At that last why Sesshomaru gritted his teeth and his eyes flicked 10 times. The smelly hobo then looked up at the lord of the western lands with vacant eyes and said. "This is the magical bubble gum of the great demons of the past. Created by magical singing woodland gnomes who made it from some dirt, a couple of Imp demons, and their own nosehairs. It is said that he who licks the disgusting wad of gum willl RULE ABSOLUTELY OVER THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!...or something like that.

Sesshomaru then looked at the hobo with exitement in his eyes and said "Ill buy it off of you." The hobo stared at our fluffy lord and said "Such a substance cannot be measured in monetary measures. it can only be given to the great lords of... Fifty bucks. "FIFTY DOLLARS FOR A PIECE OF GUM!" At this the hobo shrugged and said "Hey whatever if you dont want to rule absolutely I dont care." "Oh fine Here." Sesshomaru then shook Jaken a couple of times which released fifty dollars, paid the hobo, and took off with Jaken,Rin,and the piece of gum toward his castle.

When everyone was at the castle Sesshomaru laughed evilily while holding the piece of gum. Jaken beside him. Strangely Rin was not there."Behold Jaken, Finally ill be able to start my empire without having to wait five thousand years to do so or having to use a stupid piece of jewlery! Now I shall lick it!" With that Sesshy licked the gum that had dirt, mothballs,and other such substances on it and then... he coughed and he coughed and then he coughed some more. Sesshomaru then looked around. "Well Retard am I absolute ruler yet?" Jaken shrugged and shook his head. Sesshomarus eyes then glowed red and he said "THAT HOBO TRICKED ME! IM GOING TO KILL HIM!" Then Sesshomaru told Jaken to look after Rin,changed into his giant dog form and flew away to fight all the evil hobos of the world.

Jaken However could not seem too find Rin. And a tiny speck of flame had appeared where the dropped bubblegum was. "RIN! WHERE IS YOU?" Then Rin popped out of a turkey that was on the kitchen table and yelled "Its Me! I was the turkey all along!" Jaken just stared there and sighed "Yes yes you were. Now quit fooling around and... uh oh." The tiny flame of bubblegum had changed into an enormous fire that was spreading throughout the castle. "Rin... run.

To be continued...

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if you want to find out what happens next review for the next chapter


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